Do I really want him?

"I have no idea if I want him or not.

I haven’t thought of it for 10 years… but now after the second birth I changed completely… I managed to fight off the extra kilograms from the first birth… I look attractive now… My business is successful, the people like me and respect me.

And I met this man, who keeps me awake at night. I think about him a lot. And I love my husband, I never stopped loving him. He is the man of my life, but I think a lot about the other man. Sometimes I imagine how I get extremely aroused and fuck him. Excuse my language, I feel ashamed, but at the same time it is nice… I have no peace of mind.

I don’t know what I want and do I want it… It is strange, and the new one wants me badly, oh, how he wants me… but I stop him dead in his tracks with some nasty words… and he still wants me...

I really don’t know what I want..."